For some time, I’ve always loved gnomes. Growing up I had a book that described gnomes in detail. It wasn’t really a children’s book per say, but I enjoyed it none the less.
I thought this was one of the greatest books ever, and so naturally, when I started my own garden, I wanted gnomes as well.
The word gnome is derived from the New Latin gnomus. It is often claimed to descend from the Greek gnosis, “knowledge”, but more likely comes from genomos “earth-dweller”.
In the Harry Potter series, gnomes are considered garden pests and appear to be more akin to animals than intelligent beings, and there is a scene in the movies where they are busy “de-gnoming” the garden.
So, knowing my love of gnomes, and in an effort to head off the invasion of plastic pink flamingo lawn ornaments, my lovely wife bought me some gnomes a while ago. The first one I received was of a gnome sleeping, with his but sticking up in the air.
[Insert picture here]
This particular gnome was named “Lucky Butt” and has wandered throughout my backyard, from the back slope, to my daughter’s Barbie play house (bought used off of eBay), and finally to the garden just below the kitchen window.
Earlier this year for father’s day, he got a friend and some more landscape in the form of a couple of mushroom statues.
All was well with this happy little band until tragedy struck last month. A roof tile fell from about 20 feet, right on top of my happy gnome. Splitting the cast iron gnome from head to toe (and shattering the roof tile of course).
I’m happy to say that last night I was finally able to get out the JB Weld and put my little guy back together and he’ll be installed in his place of honor again tonight.
For those of you not familiar with JB Weld, let’s just say that it is almost as useful as duct tape. The stuff is described on their site as:
Our flagship product, J-B WELD is the world’s finest cold-weld compound. It’s a remarkably easy, convenient, and inexpensive alternative to welding, soldering, and brazing. J-B WELD is the smart way to repair something … and for literally pennies per use. When welding or soldering is out of the question due to cost, down time for repairs, or technical/environmental considerations, J-B WELD is the answer.
Like metal, J-B WELD can be formed, drilled, ground, tapped, machined, filled, sanded, and painted. It stays pliable for about 30 minutes after mixing, sets in 4-6 hours, and cures fully in 15-24 hours. It’s water-proof; petroleum-, chemical-, and acid-resistant; resists shock, vibration, and extreme temperature fluctuations, and withstands temperatures up to 500° F. J-B WELD is super strong, non-toxic, and safe to use. Before it sets, you can clean up with soap and water.
And I have yet to disagree with this statement. I would heartily recommend the use of this product above and beyond any other bonding agent out there.
Lucky Butt is happy to have our newly repaired gnome back in the garden tonight and maybe in the future he’ll have a few more friends as well…